Speaking in absolutes as a communication tool that can be divisive.
What does it
mean to speak in absolutes? This is when a person makes a statement that does
not give space for any other outcome. Absolute statements
are based on the assumption that what is stated is generally true for all
people in all situations and circumstances. Absolute
statements always use absolute and finite words such as always; never;
everything; everyone; no one.
One example of an absolute statement: If I said "I know the meaning of Life" and there
is no other meaning of life.” That would mean that I feel my definition of Life
is the only correct answer there is, and that my answer is the Absolute.
What could
make this a potentially destructive form of communication? There are no
"absolutes" in life except death. With the large amount of diversity
within the human race absolute descriptions are an impossibility. Additionally,
everything in life is subject to personal interpretation. Two people can see
exactly the same thing, or have exactly the same experience and interpret this
in completely different ways.
How can we reframe absolute statements? Replace absolute statements with
assertive statements, Use “I” statements as it puts the focus on how you feel,
and avoids putting blame on the other party and it will make the other party
feel more receptive to fixing the problem and not feel attacked. For example
the above statement could be rephrased to read: "I feel that I know the meaning of my Life”.
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